Alright readers, time to bust out some "why are we not on Tv ??!" moments. 


***PRELIMINARY WARNING***
So for those of you who know me, you often here me refer to my Nana as "crazy". For example, instead of proclaiming "Im going to my Nana Lane's house today", I shout "ugh, goin' over to crazies for a while." Now for you old-timer-activists out there, please dont throw eggshells just yet. You see the easiest way for me to forget that my grandma has only forgotten who I am out of my whole family, I use humor to lighten my visits with her. Additionally, I am well aware of the fact that exploiting my nana's craziness may land me a permanent address in the Alzheimer's unit myself. In an attempt to spread humor throughout the world, I would like to let you in on some of these events that leave me close to wetting my pants. So, if you can look past the cruelty I may be spreading, please read on and fully enjoy a golden girls (twenty years later) moment.


Last night I was over at crazy's house so that I could make sure she was eating. You see, my nana is all of 90 pounds, on account of being anorexic her whole life, and still refuses to eat. Okay, well maybe now she forgets to eat but that is besides the point. 


I went to grab the bread out of the refrigerator and noticed that this loaf I was supposed to be carrying seemed awfully...lumpy. Not to mention it was tied to together with a death grip of yarn. After fighting a battle with tie, I opened the bread bag to find a christmas carrier of surprises.Instead of the cinnabon ciniswirl bread loaf I expected to find, there were tiny little packages, wrapped in paper and tied with a christmas bow. What the @#$%?! 


Now I am all about opening gifts for Christmas, but these little buggers were not my idea of...how would you say...festive. One package greeted me with an old banana peel, another a lightbulb, and another egg shells. Realizing that crazy had wrapped her garbage in brown paper packages tied up with string (no I don't  believe that Ms. Julie Andrews would consider these a few of her favorite things), I stopped myself from opening anymore.


Me: "Grandma, why did you wrap up your garbage?"
Gma: "Because"
Me: "Because why? This is gross"
Gma: "Well I dont know, because I wanted to throw it out"
Me: "Then whhhhyyyy is it in the Fridge"
Gma: "Huh, I dont know."


So after our little conversation I then went to throw out the little splendors, only to come back in the room 15 minutes later to her wrapping them back up. 


I better not get banana peels for Christmas this year.


Oye. 

 
 
It's here! The hot, sweltering summer months begging me to make just one more pitcher of margaritas. Of course, any of you who personally know maggie and I, know that we gladly give into the peer pressure put on by Mr. Jose Cuervo himself.


Memorial Day weekend was spent at Maggie's family cabin out in the sticks of Wisconsin Dells. It could possibly be one of my favorite places on earth. But soon after driving through the kentucky homestead hills, the pigtail turns of South Dakota and "Viking Village" aka Reedsburg, each and every time you are left thinking, "how the hell did they find a house out here". Despite the "where's waldo" hunt to arrive at the cabin, each road trip is worth it.  (Although maybe not the footprints on my windshield from Maggie's feet, or the snot-mark-smeared windows from our fur ball).


This weekend was celebrated with some of Maggie's parents friends, family and the company of four. furry. friends. okay maybe we could add in enemies. Throughout the weekend we found that no matter how many bottles of wine we topped off, beer cans we crushed or margaritas we melted, nothing could stop the annoyance of Molly and Hubert being together. If some of you don't remember the name "Molly" please click here to refer back to our week long adventure that ended with me thinking "If I never see that dog again, it will be too soon".


If I had to choose a highlight of the weekend to tell you about, it would be club 33. Possibly the oldest bar on the planet, it was equipped with no ventilation system. For those of you non bar goers, this meant that all the nicotine from cigarette smoke gathered on the ceiling. Customers had the chance to take Murphy's Oil Soap and write their names in the crud. Well, us being us, who would write names when we have....REFER TO PICTURES FOR OUR FRESH STREET MARKETING IDEAS!

Too keep this blog post short and sweet, I hope that many of you enjoyed your fun in the sun just as much as we did. Or that you had less furry company accompanying you. Either way, enjoy some of our vacation pictures. And we look forward to talking to you soon!
 
 
So I know that most of our blog is dedicated to creating gut busting laughs out of you readers, which gives us much pleasure to know we aren't just laughing at ourselves. Yet, today I would like to take a moment just to reflect on a concept that has been poking its head at me for the past few weeks.

Even though the air is now full of summer sun and warm breezy days, let's not let the days get the best of us and forget what is truly important.

If I have learned anything from the two funerals, friendship quarrels and family get togethers in the past month, it's that we need to start letting the people around us have the best of us. So at the end of the day, sunburnt and all, don't forget to call that friend, call that parent, reach out to your neighbor to show how much you care. It's a simple gesture, one that takes less time then downing that summer hummer, but its one that is irreplaceable. 

Even if the gesture is unrequited love and your afraid of the rejection, take a step out in the open. Exposure is not just a kodak concept, but one for the self as well. If there is a 100 year war brewing within your family, end it. Trade the curses with words of comfort. Because as For we never know when someone is going to be taken from this world from us, and they won't hear it from our lips ever again. 

Well folks, I know that this Public Service Announcement is a little out of my Conan OBrian comedy hour element, I think it's important to remember once in a while. As John Mayor put it, "say what you need to say. Say what you need to say."

*Prayers go to the Konitzer family. Kassie you are an amazing girl with a lot of strength. Maggie and I are so lucky to call you a friend.
 
 
Ahhh!! 


So maggie and I have come to realize that we have exactly 462 days until our lives begin to change. Forever. As many other alumnae gone before us, the fears of graduating are starting to overcome the relief of finally being done with school. Okay, well maybe for me more then mag, seeing as that count down number came from her not me.


Our plans have always been to go to Tennessee. Many call us crazy, many call us dreamers, and many drill us as to why we would ever want to go there. Believe me I have heard it all. But what is stopping us? Right now nothing. Not love, not fear, not jobs nor family and friends. At this point in our lives we have been stretched to the max and are bursting with the wish for adventure. So the plan for right now, and for months to come is to pack that Uhaul and head down. The Wisconsin Yankees meet the South...hmm Im sensing a great new blog title here.


As excited as I am, I can honestly say that I am terrified. My dreams of moving on into the unknown have been years in the making, and now that I am actually getting the chance, why am I so scared? 


I find myself thinking about this next year, which includes my senior year of college, a trip to Cancun, Peru and Arizona, as well as a trip, or two, going down there to check out neighborhoods. On top of all this is applying for graduate programs, securing a job and figuring out where the heck we are going to live!


Do any of you feel like you are in for a whirl wind of a year too, or is it just me?
Picture
 
 
Puppies, puppies, puppies. Oh they can be so cute and cuddly. They have been known for years as the sweetest little fur balls, not including opinions of the kitten-lover-readers of course. However I am sure that you have never had the experience of meshing cute and cuddely puppies with Hubert. Please, let me indulge you as to how this works.


Maggie's parents recently added a 20 pound 13 week old chocolate lab, Molly, as a member of the gollnick clan. Equipped with fat paws, floppy ears and a puppy shriek, this little girl was beyond the cutest thing I have ever seen. We took her for a week while her parent's basked in the warm sunshine of the carolinas. Babysitting a cute innocent puppy, peice of cake we thought. WRONGO.


Mixing Molly and Hubert together was like trying to mix oil and water. He wanted nothing to do with her, and she wanted everything to do with him. Wherever he went she went. Whatever he did, she did. And soon, when Molly realized that Hubert wasn't giving her enough attention she began to pick fights with him. No, readers, I am not kidding. We couldn't walk in the door and let Hubert out without her attacking him. Soon they were taking their fights on a charted course around the house; not stopping for anything or anyone for that matter. 


Deciding they would fight through my legs, I found myself tripping over them constantly, including tripping and running face first into my linen closet door. Nose bleed central people! And if that wasn't bad enough, it continued 20 minutes later, this time leaving me with a welt the size of texas on my forehead. 


Beyond having to listen to them growl, snarl and rip each other apart, we also had to deal with their "territory" fights. Which included peeing ALL over our DVD collection on the tv stand, the side of the couch and linoleum floor (which i really shouldn't complain about because Mr. Bounty was able to send a quick fix for those problems.)


Either way, who knew that two small dogs could cause such a ruckus! By the end of the week, Maggie and I were ready to pull our hair out, if we didn't kill each other first! Learning lesson for us; keep our family to Trude Jude and Hubert. No additions coming anytime soon.
 


please see our facebook video of puppy UFC fighting.
While your at it, add me as a friend for more updates on our household!



Picture
Picture
 
 
Yes, I know. So, many people have told me that if we want the reality tv show we are going to need to  update this more then...well once a month. Believe me it has been a world wind of a month, half the time we don't know if we are coming or going! It seems as though the end of spring is the end of the year for both of us. Between school closing, gearing up for summer and crossing our fingers for passing grades, the days slip by. Is this the same for all of you? Or do we just not take time to stop and smell the roses?
 
 
Art and Trees. The two things in this world that I really could not live without. I am not sure where my infatuation stemmed from, but in the later years, I can say has grown stronger then ever. I love art. I love painting, creating and designing it. Moreover, I love to marvel at the wondrous works of artists around me. Trees. I love trees. I am constantly distracted by their tips of green in the spring, and their naked truth in the winter as they stand tall against the whipping winter wind. Weird, I know. So I have given you trees, and I have given you art. Now the question is where the hell am I going with this?


EARTHWEEK


This Friday April 23rd, marks the end of Earthweek for 2010, well a publicized Earthweek. And yes my friends, although I am not your tree hugging dirt worshipper, I am sad to see this week go. No, I don't recycle as much as I should, nor do I always buy organic and save water by showering with a friend. However, I feel inspired when I see hundreds of people coming together for such a great cause. So, this week has been the cultivation of saving trees and making art, which has turned out to be one of the most inspirational and bearable weeks for me among school and work. Why you may ask? Well, have you ever heard of RuckusRoots?
RuckusRoots is a group of artists who travel around encouraging others to cultivate art in order to express themselves in environmental and social issues. They combine art with activism, hence ARTivism. Their mission statement;


"RuckusRoots seeks to reinvent activism for Generation Y by creating a culture shift from passive disengagement to interested, informed and personalized action.To achieve this, we mesh youth culture with cause, merging art and activism into ARTIVISM. Our methodology—our innovation—is to use cultural hooks to encourage progressive, collaborative thought and environmental action. We harness the power of the creative process to help young adults draw the connection between emotional inspiration and vigilant action, and establish a sense of personal attachment to eco-issues."




April 21st through April 23rd, RuckusRoots set up camp on the UW Oshkosh campus in order to create a masterpiece. Out of our trash. Yes, that's right folks, they made trashy art. However, trashy would be the last word I would use to explain the looks of this innovative piece. Students came together to sort through garbage, separating compost from reusable pieces and went to town. The end result is something far beyond amazing, inspiring and breathtaking. Maybe not for all of us, but for me, it was the perfect moment of meditation. Happy earth week everyone. Happy earthweek. 
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
 
 
Hello readers, It's Candice, er Jude, here. I thought that it was time to share some insight with our gentlemen readers. Being a girl in the world of bartending I can't count how many pathetic pick-up attempts I've had, phone numbers I've thrown out, or drunken comments that fuel my angry fire. With that being said, I thought that today I would take the time to share some tips with you fine men out there on what NOT to do to your bartenders.


#1. PLEASE SAVE A TREE AND LEAVE YOUR BUSINESS CARD AT HOME
 What is this? Is there some new trend that I did not receive the memo for? I never thought that guys who can't suck up their pride and ask for a number would toss a business card at a bartender. Let alone me. It screams, "Hey, I may not be looking for a secretary to sleep with, but heres my card in case you would like an after-work special". Well, let me explain that after you throw that little stock card square at me and finish it with a wink, I walk around the corner and wink at the garbage. Conclusion? Let's save some branches and save the cards for your day job.


#2. WE WILL FIND OUT WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED
So many people think that I am crazy for having doubts about ever getting married. HELLO??? I would be crazy to not have these doubts with the tools I  run into. So, for this section I would like to explain that there are two kinds of men in this world (Shady men, not all men); the kind that don't wear a ring, and those who take their rings off. Yes, for my ladies that may be pondering over this little advice, I have guys take their rings off. Believe it hunny. Guys, guess what, 89% of the time I SEE you slyly slide your hand under the bar, frantically trying to pull that binding piece of metal off your finger. Finally when you feel you are in the clear, I see you non-chalantly slip it into your pocket. All in all, I see you do it. This is why you strike out. You chose your woman, now pay attention to her.
For those of you who don't come in with a ring, please dont think you got away that easily. Let's just make this one plain and simple. You may be catching glances, buying shots and flirting your way to the top, but let me warn you, those shots catch up with you. So by the end of the night, you and your friends are hammered, and it will so casually come out of your friends mouth that you are A.whipped by the old lady B.living it up until its back to the wife or C. MARRIED. Either way, I'll find out, so please stop wasting my time. 


#3. LEAVE THE ATTITUDE AT HOME
As Paula Cole once put it, "Where have all the cowboys gone?" There are plenty of women out in this world dreaming about those stereotypical cowboys that still open doors, take a girl out to dinner, compliment her, learn about her and her interests, etc. Well Paula, Im not sure where those cowboys have gone but they sure as hell are far and few between. For some reason, there was a generation glitch that resulted in men who revert back to kindegarden and think being mean, rude, insensitive and perverted are the way to show a girl you are interested. This.does.not.work. Who wants to sit and play your petty games of guess and check on what your "signals" mean? Women are pretty much just as straight forward as men, and I don't have time in my day to hear how your accomplishments in life soar above mine, how your other girlfriends have been much prettier then me or how your job results in six figures with a hot car. Only to later in your drunk truthful state explain to me how you only said those things because you were interested and did not know how to effectively express your feelings. My thoughts? Try a course in Dating 101.




I suppose I should clarify here that there are many, many guys that I meet who are fly far above these low standards, applause for you. But for those who fit one or more of these categories, man up and make my job a little more enjoyable. 
Picture
 
 
So often, well the three blogs that we have here, are about Trudy and I. While reviewing the stories of our lives I realized that we were leaving out one of the most important aspects of our life; our carniverous garbage disposal Hubert Wellington Gollnick, the first. 


Like we've mentioned before, Hubert is a 20 pound Puggle. He's cute, he's cuddly and extremely friendly. In addition, he makes an excellent bed hogger and warmer. At this point I could say he may have a big ego, seeing as he thinks he can make friends with the whole world...from people to trees. So im sure you are imagining a family's prize posession. Think again people, think again.

Picture
Picture
MEET OUR TRASH CAN, AND ALL ITS CONTENTS.


This is the REAL Hubert; The sweater destroying, blind braking, tampon eating irritant. I would even go so far as to say that he has a serious anger problem. 


Let me explain to you our days with Hubert.
HE sleeps with Trudy at night, and refuses to sleep anywhere else. If she's gone, he gets huffy and puffy about having to stay in my bed. Then in the morning right as Trudy's leaving for work, and NOT a minute before, Hubert waits by my door to be let in, where he  then sleeps until I get out of the shower. He is then escorted outside to go the bathroom. Now this is where the inner two year old comes out.


When Im ready to leave and go outside to bring Hubert back inside, he'll put his butt down, sprawl out his paws and fight with all his might against me putting him back in the house. So we usually fight like this for about two minutes.
(Let me back track here for a second. I have to make sure all the doors to the bedrooms and bathroom are closed because if they are not Hubert will run up to them after being left outside and crawl under the beds. Where it takes another TEN minutes, IF I'm lucky, to drag him out)


So if the doors are locked and I dont have to wrestle with him under the beds, he will then jump on the  coach and pout. During the day he designs a master plan to how to make our lives more miserable, or maybe just to express his anger with us leaving him. Either way, theres always a present waiting for us. Sometimes its "waste" or sometimes its waste. (Use your imagination on this one).


Monday's gift? A taste of...Mcdonalds and Jelly Bellys.


Think you've got it bad?? Try and be ours, the Human Society has NOTHING on us.


Why are we not on TV????!!
 
 
Welcome to Wisco...again. Today I would like to take the time to apologize to you, our readers, for my jinxing in the white catastrophe we are now experiencing. For yes, my friends, if you have not noticed, and if you haven't I dont even have a category to place you in, it has snowed. No, not a volcanic eruption like my winter travels, however enough to wake up, smell the coffee and think what the #$%!??!?! 


The dreaded blanket has hit us yet again. Just as the tulips are basking in the sun and the dafodils are teasing us with the smells of summer, Mother Nature decides to play a belated April Fool's joke and pour the dump truck upon us. For it is April 8th, 2010 and I cleared 4 inches of snow off my car today. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS??!!


Well for those of you who read these blogs, may have read my post yesterday about the reminiscint times of winter hangovers and the hopes that we would not see one for another 7-8months. Unfortunatly, that lady with the mad flowing rage has something against our blog because she laid down the plow on us with a spring snow storm. No, I really do not think it gets worse then this. 


So today this is my apology, for setting a jinx upon the world of Wisconsin... I vow to not speak of snow until next novemeber when my christmas itch gets a going!

Picture
Picture